Getting Help for Troubled Teens

When you, or someone you know is having trouble with a teen, please take a few minutes to answer the following questions.  This can serve as a point of reference for you in understanding the potential severity of the problems this teen is currently struggling with each day.  

Sometimes the problems are so severe that they can only be properly addressed by getting professional help.  

This may include an adolescent treatment program, a Christian based residential school, a holistic treatment center, an addiction treatment program, a wilderness adventure therapy program, or any one of a number of available options based on this teens educational and emotional needs. These speciality programs are designed to assist with the therapeutic needs as well as educational and behavior needs of a pre-teen, teen or young adult in trouble.

At times, when caught early the family can engage in assistance right in their own community and home environment.

You may need  a Home Rules Contract. This is a written set of expectations that adults have of their teens (and preteens). The contract includes basic rules, consequences and privileges. Also, regularly spend quality time with each of your children.

Listen to them attentively in a non-judgmental way. Praise appropriate behavior. Skill building parenting classes are offered in many places around the country including local schools, family-counseling clinics, outpatient treatment centers, and even at some public libraries.

These resources can be very useful for improving communication and discipline skills, which can help to prevent distressing issues in the first place or stop minor problems before they have the opportunity to become major tribulations.  Once you have determined that your adolescent has problem behaviors that are beyond your ability to cope with effectively on your own, it’s time to reach out for professional help and support.

After completing the questionnaire, please refer to the scoring guide  which offers some suggestions and recommendations based on the results of your own very honest responses. 

1. Are you concerned about your teens behavior and safety?
2. Are you concerned that your child may be sexually active?
3. Are you exhausted and worn out emotionally and mentally from your teen's defiant and /or destructive behavior and choices?
4. Are you finding that you have to be careful in your own home with the things you say or do?
5. Are your struggling teens problems a potential risk to their educational and emotional future?
6. Are you worried that your teen may not finish high school?
7. Does your teen associate with a peer group that is unmotivated and unengaged in healthy activities?
8. Does your teen defy consequences they are given when they do break a rule?
9. Does your teen engage in high risk behaviors?
10. Does your teen ever display violent behaviors? 
11. Does you teen have problems with authority and following rules?
12. Does your teen lie consistently to you, even about little things?
13. Does your teen seem depressed and/or withdrawn and/or do they isolate themselves from the family?
14. Does your teen seem to demonstrate a lack of motivation?
15. Does your teen seem to lack self-esteem and self-worth?
16. Does your teen struggle with with basic family expectations and rules?
17. Do you feel powerless in your own home when parenting your teen?
18. Do you have difficulty getting your teen to engage in homework and/or simple household chores?
19. Do you know who your teens friends are and what they are doing when not at home?
20. Do you suspect that your teen is taking money and/or valuables from your home?
21. Do you think your teen is experimenting with alcohol / drugs or tobacco?
22. Do you trust your teen at home alone?
23. Has your teen been in trouble with the law?
24. Has your teen ever been expelled, suspended, truant or had a major drop in their school attendance and/or grades?
25. Has your teen lost interest in their favorite activities, friends, hobbies and/or sports?
26. Has your teens appearance and/or personal self-care hygiene changed?
27. Have you noticed bruises, burns and/or cuts on your teen?
28. Is your teen angry and do they display temper outbursts?
29. Is your teen deceitful and manipulative?
30. Is your teen in constant opposition to your family values?
31. Is your teen verbally abusive?

Calculate how many "YES" answers you have. 


20 - 31 High Risk: You may need immediate assistance. It appears your child may be in the high risk range of needing help and possibly may be self-harming to themselves, or others. Seeking out immediate assistance to get your child assessed and evaluated is recommended, as well as serious consideration of a treatment program. 

11 - 19 Borderline Risk: Depending on your yes answers and the specific problems your teen is having, it is possible that seeing a family counselor or therapist on a weekly basis could be a good first step for you and your child. Ask the counselor about assessing your child's risky behaviors. Consider a short-term program as being beneficial as an initial intervention step along with parent coaching and then a good strong at-home program as a consideration.

Up to 10: Definitely set boundaries, have written family rules and talk about your family values. Make sure there is enough communication that both you and your teen are understanding each other and be consistent.  By having consistency with your boundaries and family rules, you are setting the best example for your child(ren). Re-take this test in 5 weeks or so after implementing changes.  

When things are better - keep going, as what you are doing is working. When things are not better, please consider seeing a counselor or therapist or engage in parent coaching. 

Note: The information on this website is provided for general reference purposes. It does not constitute medical or other professional advice and should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your child and adolescent psychiatrist or other physician. Only a qualified, licensed physician can determine the individual treatment that is appropriate for your particular circumstances. All decisions about clinical care should be made in consultation with a physician. When you need immediate emergency assistance, please dial 911.